Behind the Song - At Your Feet
Most of the times, writing is therapy for me. It is my own private session of working out the questions, opening up the pain and as was the case in "At His Feet"....a time of surrender.
I had gone to the church to work on some music for Sunday morning. I had a stack of music beside me, trying to decide what I wanted to play first. But I just sat and looked at it; I had come into the sanctuary with a burden and it seemed right to just sit there for a while at the piano and talk to God. That may be my favorite place to do that. The sanctuary is quiet....the altars bare.....but always the presence of God seems to be so.....real. My hands usually wonder to the piano keys where I may play a familiar chorus as I pray. But this particular night, I started praying a prayer of surrender to the Lord and as I prayed it, I sang it. As I write this, I'm trying to think of how I can explain it to you so that it makes sense. But I'm not sure I can. All I know is that I began to pray "at Your feet I humbly bow, at Your feet I lay it down...." and all of the sudden, I was definately in the presence of the Lord.
Let me worn you now that I am someone who cries easily and freely. In fact, when the spirit moves me to tears, it is such a release. I find I can let go through the tears. There have been times when I've been in a church service and sensed the presence of the Lord and been about moved to tears and for whatever reason, would decide that I shouldn't cry...so I hold it in. I tell myself I'm silly for being moved to tears. Others around me aren't crying...what is the deal. And I can also tell you that every time I've done that...I know that I've lost out on a blessing. Because that is how God washes over me and washes me clean and I've learned it is best to surrender to those moments.
So in those moments at the piano, I surrendered the problem I had been holding on to. I grab some paper nearby and jot down thoughts, even as I am praying. I love writing through the struggle. I know in those "real" moments, that is when I seem to write best. I don't want to write what I think people need to hear. I want to write from what I know and from where I have walked. Because even in those moments when I feel so alone...and like no one could possibly understand what I've just been through....in my heart, I also know that we are all on this journey together. And, that possibly, if I am facing it....so are you. And the greatest blessing of this Christian journey is to be able to put our arms of understanding and compassion around each other and know that because God brought me through, He can bring you through as well.
At Your Feet
Hard to let it go, I've held it for a while
Tried to picture how the end could justify the miles
and all the tears I've cried don't really mean a thing
till I surrender all I have
and lay it at your feet
At your feet I humbly bow, at your feet I lay it down
all of my burdens, all of my cares, all of my pain
at your feet I find a rest and the assurance you know best
nothing I lose could ever compare with what I'll gain
at your feet
Once is not enough, the days are way too long
and it seems I pick it up when I think I'm feeling strong
So daily I must choose to daily die to me
Lord I pray you'll give me strength
to lay it at your feet
I will lay it down I will give you everything
what I hold in my hand becomes my offering
